I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
