dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
