I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Floor bacon is actually really good
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
