he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
