Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
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you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
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And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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