In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
