I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
