We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
