Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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