guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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