i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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