Just cropdusted the office
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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