At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I had to cum in my sink.
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