That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
