You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize