You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
