Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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