tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
