8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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