It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
