I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
dude. I can hear the air.
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