i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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