He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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