We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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