I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
