I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
