Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
