Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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