I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
