Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
kristin has been a bad kristin
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
