How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize