Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
