You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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