The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
