My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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