Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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