guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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