his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
