I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
