does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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