wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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