Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize