My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Everyone says I win the strip club
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
