I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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