Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Your cock deserves a montage
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
