You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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