I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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