Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
