I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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