its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
