i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
