Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
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he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
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Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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