you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize