just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
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If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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