U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you will always have a special place in my vag
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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