you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
